Round 4: confessions camera

[foundationmods]

This is where you can post anything your character says in the confessions camera room. The room is soundproof, and nobody on-site will be able to see or hear anything they say in there. Everyone outside of the site will see what is said, though.

We're keeping this post unlocked so everyone can see, since previous round characters will be able to see anything said here. Just remember that stuff mentioned in here won't be known to characters participating in the round unless the character tells someone about it outside of the confession room.

Comments

week 2; thursday morning

[dereban]

[ When Inaba walks in, she looks a little shaken up but nevertheless, she tries her best to smile through it all. ]

Haha.

I'm probably terrifying you week after week at this point, aren't I, Atsushi? I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you on Saturday when I was chosen at random, and I certainly didn't mean to scare you yesterday when I purposely volunteered.

[ Her gaze falls, as she folds her hands on her lap, fingers squeezing together rather tightly. ]

The longer I'm here. . . the more it hurts.

A part of me wants to push them all away because they really don't know me. None of them do. He's- probably the one who's seen anything close to the 'real me'-

[. . .]

Man, I think I finally get Iori now. But the closer I get to him, the more that my heart twists in pain because I feel like a monster, you know? Logically, I shouldn't feel this way. I'm aware of that. I'm in an open relationship, so I should be fine.

I can't help but wonder sometimes, though. If you're jealous- of me? Of him? He's lived the better life out of the two of you. And I just want to slam those feelings shut and shove him at anybody else so that he won't find out. But it's stupid. Because I'm hurting him that way by doing that. And I don't want to hurt him.

I hate seeing it.

And that conversation I overheard just made me feel sick. It reminded me of what you told me, back then. [ She's not crying, but at this point her voice sounds a little watery. ] You still remember, don't you? I never thought of you as a monster. I was still admittedly scared of everything - still am, but you called me brave. Brave for despite my fears that I'd face everything.

I don't know if I still believe that.

I'm terrified. Compared to the others, I don't have any abilities. I won't be able to be saved a second time like that. But I'll be alright no matter what happens. You have to trust me on that one.

[ And then she curls herself up a bit. ]

I miss you, you know? I have the files of our old chat logs on my phone so every day, I look at them and read them. I wonder if my luck's going to hold up for much longer. Will I die soon? Or am I going to make it to the third week?

. . . The third week, huh.

Two more weeks until the full moon. It's on the 16th, isn't it? I wonder if I'll make it that long. If I do, you have to take care of yourself. And I'll do my best to protect him if I manage to survive.

I wonder if-

[ She shakes her head. ]

No, it's okay. To be honest, I'm still surprised at how much people even bother caring about me. I kind of question why they saved me yesterday. They probably didn't want to see another death.

Azula died by a gun though, huh. Kind of ironic though, don't you think, Atsushi?

[ She's trying to subtly bring it up to see if he'll catch on.

He has to have caught on by now. He was part of the mafia, after all. He should have seen the way he killed her and he needs to tell the others-- ]

. . . But then again, breaking the rules and getting killed like that isn't a surprise to me at all. It's still not even the worst thing I've seen.

[ And then Inaba sighs. ]

This is the worst. I don't know what will happen. Will we somehow make it without having murdered someone? Or won't we?

And I guess this is to everyone else: there's a lot of you guys out there who don't really see us. All that we are to you is just a number. None of us are treated as humans, no matter what ranking we are. Whether we're C-class or B-class, or whatever. Sure, a lot of us have abilities from our home worlds.

It makes us different from the rest of you.

But not all of us are like that. You saw that yesterday. I don't have any abilities like that. Hell, I don't have anything that could save myself if something like this happens a second time. I was born mundane - no abilities, no powers, nothing. I'm just an ordinary high school girl that was whisked into all of this crap. I want to make things better for all of us, but I don't know if I can do it, or if anybody will really pay attention. Perhaps they're not even paying attention to this, not really. Or they just don't seem to give a fuck.

I wouldn't be surprised either way.

Anyway. . . I think that's it from me this week. Hopefully, I'll be able to come again. If not--

The others at the Canada site? If anything does happen to me? Can you guys take care of Atsushi for me? I don't want him to be alone.

Also, I guess since we are in America. Happy fourth? Go raise some hell with some fireworks today.